In a nutshell, be warm, firm, and clear. Don’t take it personally. Don’t be a doormat and don’t be an aggressive cold Nazi, either. Balanced and assertive is the phrase here.

Read a lot about BPD. Be open, yet take care of yourself. Get professional help if the relationship is important enough to you. If you can, go to counseling together with the BPD person.

Examine your motives for being in the relationship very closely- many folks who are drawn to BPDs have a deep need to rescue or to control. Of course, if it is a mom or dad, a child, or your brother or sister you don’t have a lot of choice in the matter.

Get used to intensity. A BPD who makes great progress can be awesome, sensitive, and creative. A BPD who destabilizes can be a nightmare for everyone concerned.

Make sure you have your own needs covered. Take time for yourself and do things that nurture you. Your whole life cannot center around making sure the BPD person is OK.

Get support. There may be times when you really need somewhere to vent your frustrations.

Once more – don’t take it personally.