The Healing Place

What exactly is The Healing Place ? The Healing Place (THP) is what is called an online forum, or bulletin board. THP is a protected community for the members. It is like a gated community. THP consists of mostly private areas that are for members only. There will be a few public areas that anyone with internet access can visit. You can visit the open, public area here to get a feel for THP.

Adult Rules: At THP we use what I call the Adult Rules. Everyone who joins THP has to be over 18, including you. We are old enough to vote and to voluntarily join the military. That means we are old enough to have internet conversations. That means we own our own lives, so we get to choose how we interact at THP. We are all big enough to make these decisions.

My role: Something unique about THP is my conspicuous participation. Most online groups do not have a licensed psychologist with a lot of experience serving as a community moderator and member. I will personally moderate THP as much as time permits. That means I will serve as something like a guardian or referee for the THP family. I will step in if the activities at THP start heading in a non-helpful direction. I will work with individual community members behind the scenes to help them get the most out of their THP experience. Naturally, like everyone else, there will be days that I cannot participate much due to the demands of my schedule. And, as the THP family grows in size and in strength, others will be needed to assist in guiding the THP family.

What will happen at THP? Participants will post questions, concerns, situations that are read by other members who are then able to respond to the topic. This is called a ‘thread’, which is actually a conversation made up of posts from several people. See the sample thread here.

Do I need to be an internet expert to do this? Nope, it is really simple and easy. There is a practice area where you can play with THP to see how things work.

What would be the benefit to me of joining and participating in THP? THP is a place where you can honestly and openly connect with other people who are focusing on healing and helping. This can be a precious gift to yourself and to others. It is said that ‘the truth shall make you free’. Another slogan I like is that ‘you are only as sick as your secrets’. At THP we can tell the truth and we do not have to have secrets.

What sort of topics will be discussed? Whatever you want or need to discuss. There are private areas for sensitive emotionally loaded topics (for example, sexual abuse, addictions, weight loss, shame issues, etc) and there are open, public areas where you can just get some help with a typical issue “Anyone know a good electrician in Holly Springs? Does anyone here know how to set up a wireless network? My car is making a funny sound- any ideas? Did you see that movie? Is it any good?” Stuff like that.

How much time do you expect me to put into this? I expect Zero but I hope you choose to make THP at least a small part of your life. If you are choosing to participate because you think I expect something from you, you might want to reconsider. THP is, ideally, a voluntary community of people who want to be there.

When a community is really working for you, you will be excited to be there. It won’t feel like a chore, it will feel like a blessing. Make it yours and it will happen.

What if I don’t find it interesting or helpful? Well, who owns your life? You do, so make a choice- either work toward making THP interesting and helpful to you, or you can just drop out of the process. Your choice, no problem. A way to make it interesting and helpful is for you contribute interesting and helpful stuff. Post things you find helpful and ask for the help you need in your own life. Be useful and honest rather than clever.

How safe is my information? Part of helping and healing is learning about the interaction of open and closed boundaries. You can be as private or public as you want at THP.

No one can access your private information except the forum administrator, which will be me. I will deal with your private info the same as I do as a licensed healthcare provider. Your private info remains private unless I need to get into your account to fix some technical problem or if there is a true healthcare emergency which would, under TN law, require me to access your private info.

When you join as a member, you can create a screen name to use on the forum and you can use an almost-anonymous email as your contact. For example, Sally Smith could sign up for the forum using her anonymous email such as 2step@hotmail.com and have a screenname of LineDancer.

Or, Sally Smith could be more open, too. She could use her real name on THP if she felt safe in doing so. Whatever floats your boat.

I personally refrain from publishing phone numbers and street addresses openly on the internet because marketers will find them and use them, but I am very ok with posting my email –cliff.heegel@gmail.com, and my general location –Memphis, TN, near the U of M. I often use CliffH as my screen name when I post on a board, but whereI have not had much trust or experience I will use something totally unconnected to my real identity. Again, whatever floats your boat.

How open is my info to others? No one, including me, will know who you are and no one can find out who you unless you want them to. However, you might inadvertently reveal your identity by giving out a lot of personal information. For example, if you say “My brother Jerry manages a Blockbuster store in Jackson” someone might be able to piece together who you are if they happen to knowJerry at Blockbuster in Jackson who is your brother.

In Alcoholics Anonymous people often attend meetings together in person for years and have no idea about the private details of their fellow group members. On the other hand, other AA members sometimes get very involved outside the group. It works for them and it will work for us at THP.

Just be smart. The open areas can be accessed by anyone in the world.  And, we cannot guarantee that everyone who becomes a THP member will always be nice and always will do the right thing everywhere. There are group agreements, however, that we all abide by.

Can I meet other THP members in real life at Starbucks or something? Remember, at THP we use Adult Rules. That means you own your own life, so you get to choose. Everyone who joins THP has to be over 18, including you. We are all big enough to make these decisions.

On the flip side, just be careful and use some common sense. Meet in a very public place the first time or two. If it feels wrong or icky, don’t meet again. If it feels good, keep going. If you are confused, as someon else for help. Adult Rules.

I know someone who I think THP would be great for. Can I invite them to join? Yes. Members agree to abide by the group agreements. Any member who stays within the group agreements is welcome at THP.

Is this therapy? No, it is not psychotherapy. It is a support group. Participating in this forum is not a doctor-patient relationship. In my experience, it is probable that if you join and participate beneficial changes will happen for you. Since the beginning of human history people have benefitted from belonging to a group. THP is simply a group of adults talking, sharing, listening, and supporting.

I have (BPD, PTSD, bipolar, anxiety, depression, etc)- can I join? Yes. If you are in therapy with someone it is a really good idea to let your therapist know what you are doing. If your therapist has any questions or concerns about the group or your participation in it, sign a release so that they can talk to me about your situation. I will talk with them.

The Ultimate Control: If it gets too scary, frustrating, or bothersome for you, you can quit. No problem. Adult Rules.